1. |
Closet Weather Casket
01:39
|
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|
your father’s other daughter isn’t talked about
in voidless submission
she’ll be buried alone
in closet weather casket
well-dressed, and with flowers
gendered with her father’s name
but buried alone
|
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2. |
Father Fashionista
03:28
|
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|
oh father, what about the rest of my life
after you die?
as lonely as you claim
i will never survive,
without you.
by my side,
it’s haunting
spirits in this house
from my childhood
in one dream i have
speaking stuttered spanish
“quiero decir”
sit silently.
in my rockstar makeup,
singing karaoke
hear mother scream
our shared name
in the middle of the night
love me tenderly as i die
in your arms
and hold me as i cum
if i’m the son you have dreamt of
then hold me as i cum
or is too hard to admit,
i’m your other daughter’s death?
uncircumcise me.
i am your other daughter’s death
uncircumcise me
(you’re not talked about
well-dressed and with flowers)
holding my breath,
from down the hallway
(you’re not talked about,
karaoke singer)
hearing you scream
you will leave this world
(you’re not talked about,
in closet weather casket)
in the fashion whence you came,
(you’re not talked about,
because it’s not talked about)
alone,
and to die alone.
|
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3. |
Transreal
03:59
|
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|
you were born yourself alone
with the name that your parents gave you,
it does not agree with the way that society reads you.
you were given a gendered experience,
since your name it provides gendered experience.
the world it is broken in heartbreaking ways,
it is hard to be hopeful in a productive way.
it’s because if you go by they/them,
my god they will judge you.
it’s because when i go by she/her,
you do not stop looking.
it all starts at 15,
when the bell start ringing in my head,
it is called gender dysphoria.
it’s when i know it is not my fault,
and i know it is not your fault either.
when i am in love with a he/him, or a she/her,
it feels confusing to call them that now.
but would it be worse,
to say that i want their body parts?
or that the world should reflect the way that their body works?
the world should reflect the way that their body works.
and my god’s not real,
she is transreal and she is my best friend.
she carries knives into the shower
screaming her lungs out
we sing,
“rest in power”
|
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4. |
Girlbody
03:34
|
|||
|
i ran away from my girlbody
i could not face her face to face,
oh my god.
(oh my god)
she is pursuing me in my dreams.
pursuing me in my dreams, screaming,
“I will appropriate you.
I will appropriate you,
then we will procreate.
I will inseminate you.
I will inseminate you,
then we will procreate.
Then we will procreate.”
i ran away
i ran away from my girlbody
i ran away
i ran away
god i wish,
i was born without a body.
god i wish,
i was born like you.
god i wish,
i was not so indecisive.
and god i wish,
i did not have to pick a gender.
it is something i will not consider
as we walk into my parents’ house
where we’re all shouting
how,
you will appropriate me,
and i will appropriate you
then everyone procreates
then everyone procreates
you will inseminate me
and i will inseminate you
then everyone procreates
then everyone procreates
we run away
we run away,
from our girlbodies
we run away
we run away,
from our boybodies
we run away
we run away,
from everybody
we run away
we run away,
i ran away
|
||||
5. |
Mother
03:20
|
|||
|
it’s how my mother
learns to hate her body
when she turns 18
no one tells her
i will grow up
learn to hate my body
when i turn 18
who stole her worth?
who held her mouth?
who took her trust?
who gave up on us?
we are victims
of our bodies
we carry weight
and mom i’m sorry
for how i grew up
you shouldn’t hate your body
you shouldn’t hate your body
because i am trying
to not hate my body
so i really need you
to not hate your body
it’s intergenerational,
the way we talk about trauma
it’s intergenerational,
so i cry for my mother
she did not deserve that
he did not deserve her kindness
and it’s not until i’m 18
do i really unpack that
because mom i was 15
when i fucked up my body
it’s intergenerational,
the way we hate our bodies
it’s intergenerational,
the way we hate our bodies
and mom i will love myself,
but it’s when i am ready
and i am not yet ready
i am not yet ready
mom i’m sorry
for how i grew up
|
||||
Fear Not Ourselves Alone Queens, New York
The last punk band from Queens, New York.
Fear Not Ourselves Alone recommends:
welcoming / burial
by sana sana
everything you see in yourself, reflected and distorted
go to album
Where We've Always Been
by Career Day
staring out the window of the car, thinking about how the world could be different
go to album
Intake Occupation
by Ultra Deluxe
address the tension, headfirst into action
go to albumIf you like Fear Not Ourselves Alone, you may also like:
i became birds
by Home Is Where
supported by 12 fans who also own “You in the Heart of Everyone”
IM GONNA SCREAM I LOVE THIS ALBUM
go to album
supported by 11 fans who also own “You in the Heart of Everyone”
finally picked up a physical copy, have loved this album since the day it came out. shimmering, and full of warmth!
go to album
The Tower of Light
by The Tower of Light
A dark, silver screen-worthy, gothic mix of instrumentation and subtle electronics back TTOL's swirling vocals.
go to album
